The jp process

A behind-the-scenes look at what it takes to be a fictitious publisher

How We Do What We Do

Acquire Manuscripts

As well as writing our own content, we get manuscripts from first-time authors and established writers alike (or at least some day we might…). This is the most crucial, unavoidable step. Without content, you have nothing to publish.

Design

Every successful book needs a cover that catches the eye. In our case, our first book displayed an eye that catches (wink, wink). If that one went over your head, check out our collection page.

Production

This one is easy! All you do is format your content to the size of the intended medium and then send it all to someone who actually know what they’re doing. That way, they do all the work, and you aren’t liable for screw-ups.

Marketing

Full transparency, we don’t do any marketing. The fact that you’re reading this is completely accidental. In actuality, if you’re THIS far down on THIS page, you’re either loving the dedication to satire, or you haven’t yet realized that this is all fake. I sincerely hope it’s not the latter…

Distribution

At JP, we deliver our published works directly to the intended recipient, typically on Christmas, almost always confined in wrapping paper. Our owner will even be there to watch you open it and will spend the rest of the holiday with you. He’s just that dedicated to his craft.